Chair's October Blog: Dogs, a Bag and a Bicycle - Lessons on Community
Dogs, a Bag and a Bicycle - Lessons on Community
By Anne Dixon
‘What a well-positioned bridge’ - Concrete Foot Bridge, Palm Bay, Kent
“Get under the bridge!” he yelled, with such force that I stopped mid-pedal. Coming towards me along the seaside walkway, at speed, was a wall of water. I turned and, taking the bike with me, ran for cover under a concrete bridge which carried the overhead esplanade over the cobbled boat ramp to the sea. Not a moment too soon. The waters reached us., hammering down, blowing in our faces and running in rivulets around our feet between the cobbles.
I say ‘us’ because I was not alone. In the space of an instant a tiny community had formed, united by the common fear of a soaking. We were three women, four men, two children, four dogs and a bicycle! We stood looking at each other, nodding slightly sheepishly.
Sometimes community is formed by accident, not by design. We had no intention of meeting under that bridge yet here we were, a collection of strangers. We were brought together by the instinct to protect ourselves and those we love.
The owner of the Big Voice which had changed our direction in the first place was a dog lover, he was accompanied by an elderly labrador. Next to him was a top-knot adorned woman and an anorak-clad man who appeared to be the owners of a lively collie. It was the dogs who broke the ice as, wagging wet tails, they seemed oblivious of social distancing.
Another shared interest began to increase our tiny community’s bonding. The responsibility of caring for these trusting creatures drew their owners into acknowledging each other and we began to exchange smiles. After all these weeks of keeping apart, maintaining distances, it was good to look into people’s faces again. A tiny glimmer of engagement flickered between us
But it was difficult for so many of us to stay dry and keep 2m apart under that small bridge. Young Mum and Small Son decided to take their chances. They launched into the grey wall of water in the manner of one of those disaster movies when someone says, “I’ll go for help.” We watched them go, silently, thinking “They’re going to get very wet.”
The link was too insubstantial to hold them or the possibility of engagement was a threat rather than a promise. Perhaps they lived close by. We let them go without farewell. We had failed them in some way.
The man with the ASDA Bag for Life moved across to take their place.
There is always someone more needy ready to take their place, but they may have no dog, no cute toddler, no way of reaching out - just an empty bag which had been used many times and is always empty. Engagement is difficult. Conversations seem exclusive. Loneliness is inevitable.
Big Voice, Mrs Top Knot and Mr Anorak were exchanging information on each other’s dogs. Big Voice had biscuits in his pockets and the news spread through the canine community drawing over the two previously aloof Cocker spaniels who were attached to Young Dad and Small Daughter. “ Are they allowed…?” Big Voice asked Young Dad as he offered the spaniels a grimy biscuit each. I suspected that they were not but the deed was done and the silence was only broken by the sound of crunching Dog biscuits.
Sometimes our moves to build community are too swift for others comfort zones. We move too soon, offer too much, not pausing to check if our overtures of friendship are welcome. The result is a withdrawal of contact.
Young Dad took this as his cue to leave, taking Small Daughter and the spaniels with him. It was getting quite roomy under the bridge now. Mrs Top Knot and Mr Anorak left in the direction of Palm Bay with a delighted collie running alongside. Big Voice, sensing he had overplayed his hand and having neither interest in bicycles, nor shopping bags, left shortly afterwards in the opposite direction, followed by his wheezy labrador. It was still raining. Just a little, but not enough.
The final bond is broken. The reason for gathering is removed. To stay longer would be peculiar. Did we just imagine that flicker of engagement?
The ASDA Bag for Life man and I exchanged a nod. “What a well-positioned bridge!”, I said to him as I left. He nodded again but said nothing. I needed to be going. People were waiting for me with dry clothes and a hot drink. As I cycled away I looked back. He was still standing there motionless. Perhaps he had nowhere to rush to.
When a community fails, someone is left behind, wondering, what just happened? Where did everybody go? But a community that loses its purpose will inevitably fail.
CPW’s primary purpose is to be a learning community which asks questions, deepens understanding and enables its members to discern their unique response to the demands of discipleship. If, in the course of doing this, we build life-long friendships, enjoy unique holidays and encourage each other to go out empowered by love, then we will have worked towards a time when every rain tear is wiped away and the Bag for Life runs over with a banquet of rich food and fine wines, to which all are invited.